Oops
March 21, 2008
On my stroll to Umeda earlier this week I noticed a construction site and beside it, a half-torn down building. There’s usually nothing strange about this but I also noticed about half a dozen police officers and a couple of police cruisers in the area, lights on. I also notice one TV camera pointing at the busted up building. There were at least two dozen people around the area watching and taking pictures with their cell cameras along with a helicopter hovering above.
Hum… this isn’t your regular torn down building. Upon closer inspection, I realize that this half-torn down building still had a lot of stuff inside. I could see office furniture and some paperwork still inside. Furthermore, only the back was completely torn down - the front was kind of intact. Also, the whole thing was leaning dangerously towards the sidewalk and street.
Then I realized it. The construction site beside this building must’ve accidentally destroyed this building! Judging from the city workers that were just arriving at the scene, it probably happened not long before I happened to walk by. I wonder how it felt for the people in the building at the time to have a crane accidentally hit structure causing it to come crashing down. It reminded me of that crane accident in New York.
I forgot to catch the news later that day so I really have no idea how the accident went down, no pun intended.
Overheard
March 08, 2008
I went to a bar last night with Laura. It was my first bar visit in months. As much as I enjoyed catching up with Laura, I had the unfortunate luck of overhearing this rather inane conversation by some fellow gaijins. They were not young - they were at least in their mid twenties.
Gaijin A: I could kick his ass. (referring to Gaijin C)
Gaijin B: I don’t know about that.
Gaijin A: What? Really?
Gaijin B: Yeah, C has the training factor.
Gaijin C: Yeah I train a lot. … not that you don’t train at all.
Gaijin A: Oh come on…
Gaijin B: Yeah, C has the martial arts factor.
Gaijin C: Yeah I do.
Gaijin A: Well I have the marital arts factor.
Gaijin B and C: That’s true that’s true.
Gaijin A: I can handle crazy bitches.
I now remember why I don’t frequent bars anymore.
This is justice
June 09, 2007
Screaming Paris Hilton sent back to jail
God I really hate her.
(A) would make me very happy
June 07, 2007
Me: “I am now asking you to stop playing Sudoku in lessons.”
Dumbass: “How am I supposed to stop from falling asleep?”
Me: [choose your answer].
Possible answers that I wanted to say.
A. “Take your right hand, make a fist, and repeatedly hit your orcish-looking face with it until you reach skull, or through skull.”
B. “Sign your name on this sheet of paper called Resignation Form.”
C. “Step onto a highway blindfolded. Wear black clothes and do this at night if necessary.”
D. “Choose another guy to give lip to.”
Congratulations dumbass, you’ve made my list.
My num lock doesn’t work
June 01, 2007
I, have the honor of being Dumbass #2 a day after the whole thing was introduced. I fear what’s to come.
Coming home from a very atypical Friday at work followed by some Tap, I came home and turned on my computer. Trying to type something resulted in something weird… my keyboard wasn’t working. I restarted my computer. Hmm… still not working. I uninstall the keyboard, unplug it, blow on the connection to clear out any dust or gunk, and plug it back in and install it. Hmm, still not working.
Wait! Some keys are working. Weird. Roughly half of the keys worked. The numbers worked but the number pad did not. The function keys worked. Scroll lock and Caps lock worked, but not Num lock. Hmm, most of the letters worked but not all. Some careful experimenting showed that most of the lower right side of the keyboard did not work.
I thought maybe a rather clever but annoying virus had somehow made its way into my fairly new computer and wireless network. It was weird but it was working fine this morning…
… oh yeah.
Basically right before I left the house at 6:40am this morning, I knocked half a glass of water that spilled into… the lower right side of my keyboard. I had only hastily tried to shake out the water.
Time to get a new, waterproof keyboard.
Exploding Gyoza
May 31, 2007
A term coined by Guillaume, Exploding Gyoza becomes the very first episode of Dumbass Chronicles, a new category I’ve decided to add to my blog.
Yesterday at work, our first ever dumbass decided to heat some food in a plastic container in our new microwaves at work. They were literally installed that morning.
She decides to heat up this tiny plastic container for 10 minutes.
The plastic melts, the food is set aflame.
As I walk up the stairs to the standby room, I see the room filled with white smoke and several staff members opening doors and turning on air conditioners trying to help clear the air a bit. I work for the next hour or so in the office, eyes becoming sore, throat becoming irritated, anger and disbelief enveloping my common sense.
Because of this dumbass’ ability to realize that exciting water molecules in a small plastic container will melt it, super heat the food so that it bursts aflame, the microwaves have now been temporarily suspended from action, resulting in 700 people not having access to the microwaves. Thank you, dumbass.
Today’s Brain Defect
July 13, 2006
“Ouch. Hot oil is hot.”
