Summer hibernation
August 14, 2006
A certain type of mammal, the North American me goes into hibernation during the summer season in Japan. During the pleasant seasons of Fall, Winter, and Spring, the elusive me builds up energy reserves by eating gargantuous amounts and storing layers upon layers of precious fat. During these three seasons the me is most active, often seen climbing up hills and mountains, rampaging across the different regions of Japan (from Hokkaido to Shikoku). This is when a lot of the mating rituals happen, day or night, rain or sun, wife or alone.
However in the summer the me burrows its way into its den and enters a trance-like state of existence. Summer is a harsh month filled with devilish cicadas, weekly festivals, soaring temperatures, and worst of all humidity that you can swim through. During the summer hibernation, the me literally burns off those fat reserves not because of metabolism, but purely because the weather melts it off. It must replenish water reserves by taking hourly showers and never step away from a water spring.
The North American me is not equipped to deal with the harsh realities of Japanese summers. In its evolutionary stages, it grew accustomed to moderate summers and enjoyed mild breezes while sucking down an icey icey frappumocha doublelatte cream milk coconutty drink of sorts.
Because of the extreme weather patterns found in this region, the me also grows more hostile because it’s threatened by the real possibility of dying in this heat. As such, it grows timid and shy, never leaving its den except to feed and acquire food to bring back to its den. It cannot traverse the wild nor engage in social interactions. It chooses to revel in air conditioning and strip itself of all winter fur and T-shirts and shorts. Only with intense air conditioning can higher level physical activities take place.
Luckily for the me, summers do not last too long. The species hope that by mid-September, the climate will have cooled enough to once again begin its travels and fun-seeking opportunities.
