The War
June 20, 2006
“But sire, isn’t this a fruitless war? We fight and fight and no grounds are gained. What good is a war without a just cause? Are we so blinded by our hate that we continue killing each other without realizing what we’re doing? I have seen countless patriots on both sides marching bravely into face of mightier warriors only to be slayed like mere beasts. Is this not a terrible waste of life?”
“Young warrior, your words are wise for your young age. Even as the King, I cannot undo the will of those above us. This war has gone on for hundreds of years and will wage on hundreds of years more until a decisive victory can be made. We have won battles. The enemy has won battles. After so much fighting we have neither lost nor gained ground. We must fight on to avenge the fallen! March on young warrior! Perhaps our victory is at hand!”
With these words, the order was declared:
King’s pawn to e4.
June 21st, 2006 at 17:06
The knight peered through the slits of his visor at the cloud of dust kicking up in the distance beyond the trees. “Brace thyself,” he muttered to himself as his lance shook in his hands. The cloud of dust grew larger and he saw it: A yellow unicorn racing as fast as the wind, its horn catching the glint of the sun.
“Thou shalt not pass!” hollered the knight as he dug his boots into the dirt. “Foul creature, stay thy ground!”
“Nay,” replied the unicorn, still a fair distance away, “Nothing stands in my way, least of all a paltry offering from thine king.” It lowered its head and the knight saw a red glow emanating from its horn. A laser beam shot out, straight and true, and pierced the knight’s heart, cutting through bone like butter.
Wait, you’re writing about Archon, right?
June 21st, 2006 at 19:40
No. This was a serious satire about the state of American and European oil hegemonies that are plaguing the fragile world economy through the use of dodgy financial instruments and subterfuge.
Actually I was playing chess on my phone and I just started typing.
June 22nd, 2006 at 10:59
Good because if you were really writing about Americans, it would read something like this:
King Dubya said, “My little soldier. I understand you can only kill diagonally. Well I tell you what, I have a brilliant strategy. You see that fellow there? And that one there? I say you diagonalize and kill him. Take the next guy, and then my friend, you will be king as well.
“But my liege,” cried the soldier, “We are playing chess, not checkers.”
June 26th, 2006 at 02:32
Queen to A5 Checkmate!