The Wedding: Behind The Scenes (1)
February 12, 2006
I was going to write a huge update and then put it up all at once but it’s taking me forever to find the time and writing juices to do it. I’m splitting it up instead into more manageable chunks. Here’s day one of a play by play recap of the emotional rollercoaster that we will forever call our wedding day! I’m writing this purely from my point of view, maybe one day when the woman realizes how much fun blogging can be, she can write her side. Included are pictures I took during my trip. The professionally done wedding photos will be put up in a different album.
Saturday, January 21
Never has there been a vacation to a tropical paradise been so unanticipated and not looked forward too. I fully admit that I had a sense of dread while leaving Osaka, not because I didn’t want to be married with the lady, but because of the next couple of days of running around like a headless chicken. In any case, we kissed our hamster goodbye, packed his cage full of food for the next week, and off to the airport we went.
United Airlines didn’t make it any easier with their flight attendants with major attitudes (like ignoring people who needed to go to the washroom when drink trolleys were completely blocking both aisles) and their shitty selection of movies (Where The Heart Is, In Her Shoes, and Back To The Future, were the good ones).
The great thing about going to Hawaii from Japan is you gain a full day on arrival. We left on Saturday evening and we arrived Saturday morning. Unfortunately for me I didn’t get any sleep on the plane. Fortunately for me customs was a cake walk. They let me go through the flight crew booth without an I94 nor any intrusive questions. I felt so… American. The woman and her family got to fill out forms and get fingerprints and photos! Thank you Homeland Security Act, you’ve protected your country from three Japanese women. The only thing they know to terrorize are the brand name stores (more on that later, if the woman hasn’t read this yet).
Alright, a bit of an explanation first. We planned our wedding through a Japanese travel company. They pretty much get everything organized and only ask us for what we want, then suggest a more expensive alternative. A week after every decision is made, they’ll suggest a more expensive alternative. Next, Japan generates 130k tourists to Hawaii – wherever Japanese people go, Japanese is spoken. I swear I spoke more Japanese during my time in Hawaii than all month in Japan.
Well right away I knew this day was going to be frustrating. After picking up our bags we left through the Group exit instead of the Individual exit. Right away we were greeted with our Japanese tour person who would pack us into a bus. But before this, they made us stop and do a group picture with these skanky girls in Hawaiian outfits who put leis on us. It smelled of tourist trap the second I saw them. They didn’t tell us the price but I’m certain those pictures would’ve run 30-50 dollars for the idiots who do buy them. Interestingly, and stupidly, we were never offered the chance to buy them during the whole trip – what shitty scam artists they are.
Next is the most frustrating part of the tour: our shuttle bus did not take us into the hotel. The tour person said check-in was not until 1pm and it was roughly 9am at this point. In my experience with nice hotels, they usually let you check in early. No, we had to go to… the fucking duty free store first off. It was ridiculous. It wasn’t as bad as it was in Saipan where they just left us there. We got dropped off and walked through the building to get to the travel company’s office. Here’s where it gets bad: they made us go into a little classroom with little plastic chairs and watch a 10 minute dvd of visiting Hawaii. It contained some useful advice like tipping but other than that it was a 9m50s video of advertisements. This stupid company then gave us a package with stupid coupons. The kicker: a bingo card you play by visiting various restaurants and stores. Each bingo entitles you to some stupid draw for shitty prizes. The really sad thing though is that I’m sure some Japanese tourists do follow these stupid tips because they don’t know better. The “SCAM SCAM SCAM” siren was going off in my head big time.
Remember to play shopping bingo!
After this Eri and I had to get to the wedding company to make final arrangements. There’s something about having to wait thirty minutes when no one else was there and then having to sit through a recap of all the decisions we’ve already made that was not fun. I think them trying to sell us shit at the last minute (like a $300 dollar wooden frame for the marriage certificate) that really put it over the top. I was glad when this was over because the whole time we were there we could see our hotel through the office windows.
Luckily the hotel was very close. And beautiful. I have raised the bar for minimum hotel standards now – I must have an ocean view from now on. Waking up to the sound of waves and the sight of endless turqoise must be what heaven’s like.
The rest of my first day was not too bad. I miraculously met up with my family after some message tag and gave them last minute information. The guy at their hotel was a gorilla of a man who could probably kill me in one punch. When I asked to leave a message or if he could tell me their room number (which I knew he wouldn’t), he looked at me as if I were some stalker or something. Look at me!
By evening my body was made up of mostly water, some tissue samples, and fluidic fatigue. We had dinner at the restaurant on top of our hotel fully dressed up. I caught up on some English tv (god bless TNT and The Discovery Channel). And that, was just day one.
February 18th, 2006 at 02:06
It’s funny how we ended up finding you on the first day. If it wasn’t for that, I don’t even know how I would have contacted you for your wedding. Where are those wedding/advertising pictures you keep talking about?
February 18th, 2006 at 08:58
They’ll be coming. I’m working on a password protection system but my programming sucks.
March 4th, 2006 at 13:50
Hi Jerry, it’s Maiko. I was trying to figure out where the party place, and found your febsite now. I love all of your photos especially the one on the top page. Both of you look so happy! I can’t wait to see you guys tonight.
Conguratulation!!