Some wedding advice
February 05, 2006
Before I post things about the wedding, here’s some stuff I wrote during the winter holiday. I’m still working on the wedding trip post and a photo album for all the advertisement-like photos.
I remember reading somewhere that weddings are one of the most stressful events in a person’s life. I totally agree with that statement. We had one of the smallest weddings, like, in the histories of the Leung/Kurokawa clan legacies. Sure it was overseas and required some extra coordination but really, it was a puny wedding. Still, that in itself gave me enough headaches to last me for awhile. So to help you future bride and grooms, here are some of the observations I made about my wedding and preparation.
- Expect to argue with each other. The lady and I fought more in the last five months than we have ever fought in five years. Most of it was over purely ridiculous and small things. For some reason, neither of us could relent.
- Expect things to go wrong. Things will fuck up. And the closer it gets to the wedding, the more things will fuck up. I think I was expecting the volcanoes in Hawaii to erupt at one point. No matter how the lady at the dress shop or the chapel or the travel agency assures you, she will inevitably fuck something up. Just roll with the punches and say horrible things about her afterwards. After all, she’s not doing her job, and that’s a sin.
- Expect misunderstandings. Ugh. See this and then imagine the wildest things that can, nay, will, happen.
- Keep track of who you’ve told about the wedding. I felt so bad that some people found out through second, third, or fourth hand information. Sometimes you just forget. But then don’t feel too bad about it. After all, there’s probably a reason you forgot about them. For the others, you probably owe them an apology.
- Expect psychosomatic responses. Normally I handle stress so efficiently that it scares and overwhelms my enemies. During this time though, I had so many headaches, backaches, coughing fits, flu-like symptoms, strokes, heart attacks, and menstrual cramps (ok, maybe not the last few) that could not be explained. I really think they were the physical incarnation of the dense ball of stress growing inside my head. Really, I’m ok.
- Expect misunderstandings II. Even between you and your soulmate, who is psychically, universally, electronically, maybe even physically attached to you, you will probably confuse each other at one time or another. This is amplified by a factor of 5.24 (The Jerry Constant) if one side does not speak English natively and the other does not speak Japanese well (this means you, the woman).
- Have a venting outlet. Always keep one of these handy friends available. After you build up so much blood-boiling stress, you will find it helps to take it out on some unsuspecting friend, whom you confide in and rely on for moral support. Oh yes, taking baths is a good substitute as well if you’re not good with making friends.
- Expect no magic like in the movies. Why does Hollywood make weddings out to be so much fun? Weddings are a chore. Really. I think the “I just want to get it over with” thought snuck into my mind months beforehand. Don’t get me wrong, I look forward to the wondrous life I will have with my wife. I just think weddings are so… traditional. Ugh.
That’s it for now. The above applies for really small weddings. For really big weddings… um… good luck!
February 6th, 2006 at 17:05
Aw fuck you dude. I have to find out through your web page that you’re getting married? I was all set to buy you a new George Foreman grill and everything but forget it, I’m keeping it for myself!
February 6th, 2006 at 17:06
OK, I joke, I joke. Congratulations. Sorry I haven’t been able to see you online or bother to call to wake you up at some ungodly hour to congratulate you. Regardless, hope all is well.. nice post, I’ll remember to come to you for advice one day