Watch Your Tongue
January 07, 2006
An orange is an orange. Unless someone else tells you they think it’s an apple. Then to you, that orange is an apple. Or was it?
One thing that I hope my friends can attest to about me is that what I say and what you see is what you get. “I think you’re treating your puppy badly,” will mean that I think you’re treating your puppy badly. I don’t hide secret messages. For the sake of not hurting people’s feelings, I tone down my messages but I would never imply things I wouldn’t say to you. I don’t work like that.
Sometimes I forget that not everyone is like me. Sometimes people read hidden messages in my words that aren’t there. It’s really annoying when that happens because then I have to explain that I did not try to hide any messages. “I like your hat,” becomes “I don’t like your head or your shirt or your pants”. Somehow things are inferred that were completely out of my thoughts. While I can understand how such conclusions were reached, it’s not in my character to do such things. When words such as principles and morals are thrown into my face, it makes it even more frustrating as my principles and morals are so rock solid that I would never consciously do things that were somehow inferred from my words.
While I honestly can understand how this comes about, the net effect of all this is that once I learn you’re the kind of person who would doubt my character and project your own weakness in thinking onto my own messages, it just makes it so much harder for me to communicate with you. I will now have to watch every word that comes to my mouth and screen it for all possibly controversial signals. In effect, communication with you is no longer true as I’m NOT saying what I really mean now. I’m holding back and it’s going to cost us in the long run.
Perhaps I should become more diplomatic and considerate of all angles, no matter how absurd they can seem to me. Or perhaps we should all throw away our old hang ups and pettiness and take words for what they are.
