Children at work
November 06, 2005
Take a look at my picture. Do I look like your fucking mother?
When I go in to work in the morning I find empty bottles, half-drunk coffees, newspapers, magazines, scrap paper, and all variety of junk in the booths. This pisses me off to no end. I find myself thowing more of other people’s junk away in a day than I throw away from my apartment in a week.
What kind of asshole leaves their garbage in a booth? What kind of asshole can’t be bothered to bring their garbage they brought in to the garbage can that’s no more than a 10 second walk away? I know the answer: these assholes are children.
Children don’t clean their rooms. Children need their screaming mothers to harass and threaten them to do their chores and put away their toys. Children don’t have the discipline, nay the common sense and courtesy to put their shit in a fucking garbage can. Therefore the assholes who do this at work are children.
I’m not the only one to be pissed off by this. A fellow in my group came to me and said, “You know I think trainers should try to enforce the rules more and get people who leave garbage in the booths”. I completely disagree with him. I am not their fucking mother. It’s not my job to make children do their chores. It’s my job to ensure development and training and evaluations and enforcement of policy. There is no policy that says, “Don’t be a fucking child”. If I have to make sure these children throw away garbage, then I should be able to discipline them like mothers. I should be able to ground them or take away their TV privileges or abuse them with chinese feather dusters (ahhh… memories). “Don’t be a fucking child” is an implicit policy that should be written into the constitution or the ten commandments or be permanently etched on these idiots’ foreheads.
Here’s what I’m going to do. I am going to find out who these assholes are. I am going to collect a bundle of garbage and I’m going to stuff it into their lockers. If their lockers are already filled with garbage which I suspect is the case, I will find a time and stuff the garbage into their backpacks and then take a piss in it.
You can litter in your apartment all you want. When you enter a place you share with countless others, don’t be a child; put garbage in its place… asshole.
November 7th, 2005 at 12:09
Ah, tis inevitable. People like to leave garbage in places because they think it will “magically” get cleaned up. I have people leaving empty coffee cups and food wrappers at my store all the time. Or idiots leaving empty beer cans on my amp at the jam space. I do my best to throw stuff in the trash but in the end it’s always Steve and me cleaning up the jam space. And don’t even get me started on the time other bands did lines off my amp. I came to jam and flipped when I saw white powder rubbed into the leather of my $3000 amp head.
November 7th, 2005 at 12:16
You know what’s funny? I DO teach children, and they’re clean as hell.
November 7th, 2005 at 16:57
Maybe what you really need is a cutesy cartoon character smiling at you to deliver the message. Like this
November 7th, 2005 at 20:25
Haha, nicely done. I would love sticking that on people.
November 10th, 2005 at 15:40
It’s happened. I don’t even come here to read your blog anymore. I skip right by it, go to the link for Legend of the Green Dragon, and play away. You have created a monster.
November 11th, 2005 at 08:28
I’ve created a dragon! That’s ok. My legions of fans will continue sending me money and hoping I write more.