Children at work
November 06, 2005
Take a look at my picture. Do I look like your fucking mother?
When I go in to work in the morning I find empty bottles, half-drunk coffees, newspapers, magazines, scrap paper, and all variety of junk in the booths. This pisses me off to no end. I find myself thowing more of other people’s junk away in a day than I throw away from my apartment in a week.
What kind of asshole leaves their garbage in a booth? What kind of asshole can’t be bothered to bring their garbage they brought in to the garbage can that’s no more than a 10 second walk away? I know the answer: these assholes are children.
Children don’t clean their rooms. Children need their screaming mothers to harass and threaten them to do their chores and put away their toys. Children don’t have the discipline, nay the common sense and courtesy to put their shit in a fucking garbage can. Therefore the assholes who do this at work are children.
I’m not the only one to be pissed off by this. A fellow in my group came to me and said, “You know I think trainers should try to enforce the rules more and get people who leave garbage in the booths”. I completely disagree with him. I am not their fucking mother. It’s not my job to make children do their chores. It’s my job to ensure development and training and evaluations and enforcement of policy. There is no policy that says, “Don’t be a fucking child”. If I have to make sure these children throw away garbage, then I should be able to discipline them like mothers. I should be able to ground them or take away their TV privileges or abuse them with chinese feather dusters (ahhh… memories). “Don’t be a fucking child” is an implicit policy that should be written into the constitution or the ten commandments or be permanently etched on these idiots’ foreheads.
Here’s what I’m going to do. I am going to find out who these assholes are. I am going to collect a bundle of garbage and I’m going to stuff it into their lockers. If their lockers are already filled with garbage which I suspect is the case, I will find a time and stuff the garbage into their backpacks and then take a piss in it.
You can litter in your apartment all you want. When you enter a place you share with countless others, don’t be a child; put garbage in its place… asshole.
