Bye Grandma
August 22, 2005
My grandma passed away two days ago after being diagnosed with cancer last year. She was 84.
She was born a twin but lost contact with her twin and her family. She lived through Japan-occupied Hong Kong during the war. She lost a chunk of her thumb (or finger, I forgot) in a factory but most of it grew back. She was the second wife of my grandfather and bore two sons and three daughters. The eldest son ran away from home at the age of 18 or something. The eldest daughter married and stayed in Hong Kong. My grandma, along with the two other daughters and the younger son all immigrated to Canada. From her children that aren’t missing, she was given six grandsons and one granddaughter. During the time in Canada (25+ years??), I don’t think she learned a single English word, at least not one that didn’t sound too “Chinesey”.
The image I’ll remember was her taking care of me when I was a kid and both my parents were working. I remember playing this game where we’d spin those plastic eggs you get from vending machines for a quarter. We’d spin a whole bunch of them on the kitchen floor like tops and watch them spin themselves out. I don’t quite remember what happened to the contents of those eggs - the eggs were the important part. I’ll also remember her teaching me how to play mahjong. She taught me the rules and the basics but I remember exceeding and winning all the time when we used to play. I’ll remember those crazy Chinese board games where we’d bet pennies from her huge coin stash. She was the first to get me to gamble!
I’ll remember her getting really angry when my cousin Jeff and I used to mess around during lunch time and not eat. We’d literally spend hours in the kitchen not eating and laughing when she’d come in and see our lunch had nearly not been touched. She used to make us take naps which we hated. We got through them by sneaking books in and reading when she fell asleep.
When she stayed over at my house, she’d often sleep in my bed. She got me listening to this Chinese radio show about ghosts and it freaked the fucking shit out of me. Thank God she was there that night or I’d have shit myself. She witnessed my sister almost taking a piss in the closet! She used to blow saliva bubbles when she was sleeping and she got really pissed off after we made fun of her for it. Sorry grandma.
When we used to go to Chinatown together she would often buy a present for me. It was never anything huge. It was always some cheap toy I’d play for about a month and then it would break. I loved those presents.
Last year I went back home and got to see her for the last time. She was quite sick when I was there but she was able to speak and was completely coherent and conscious. I knew that that time would’ve been the last time I’d see her alive. Since then, even though she couldn’t physically eat (she ate through a tube), from what my family says, she enjoyed her time and was enthusiastic and energetic. I hope her last year was filled with good memories.
In all honesty, I am not saddened by her passing. She had a full life. I remember her as a simple woman but a woman who never lied and who never seemed to have harbored a single evil thought. She loved each of us unconditionally and gave a lot of her time looking over us grandkids. She was slightly short tempered but she was quick to forget things as well. She passed peacefully with family around her.
I’m not sad because she has lived her life well and left behind positive and wonderful memories to those around her. She has lived the way I aim to live. As I remember all these things you’ve just read, I have a smile thinking about all these times.
Thank you Grandma. I’m sure we’ll see each other again someday.
