ebb and flow
July 15, 2004
My current and previous jobs have taught my a lot of things about interpersonal communication that I will take with me forever. However, the most important lesson I learned from both these places is that life isn’t static and constant, instead, it ebbs and flows as much as the tides or full moon.
In both these jobs, I’ve seen many friends come and go. That’s the nature of both these places. I shared great times with great friends only to have them say goodbye in a few months or a year. Although I don’t believe in goodbyes (I believe in “See ya later”), I know inside that I will never see most of these people again in my life.
It took a change in attitude to adjust to the situation. I remember my first month at the ELI very well. I remember meeting two Korean students whom became very good friends of mine. I remember visiting their place nearly every weekend for a homecooked dinner and as much booze and cigarettes as I wanted. I became really close to them and felt like my first love stabbed me in the ass when they returned home. After that, I developed a sort of wall so that I could never feel like that again.
Slowly through the years though, I’ve realized that friends coming and going, loved ones being born and dying, and things fading in and fading out are all part of life. The process is usually a very long drawn one but once in awhile, things happen suddenly. Most of us are at a loss on how to deal with sudden changes in our lives and become extremely depressed. While I don’t hold myself to a higher standard nor am I apathetic when something happens, I try to deal with the situation in a natural way. It was going to happen, sulking won’t benefit anything, and I have many more things to look forward to.
I’m writing this update knowing that during my visit to Canada last week, I saw my grandmother for probably the last time. I’m saddened that someone who had a big hand in raising me will be dying but I also know death is as natural as birth. Should there be an afterlife, we’ll all meet and speak of old times. Should there not be, well then I won’t have to worry when bacteria start munching on my beautiful skin.
In addition, I’ve been in Japan for nearly two years now and I’ve said “bubbye” to many people. Thankfully, most were ones whom I didn’t know very well and therefore I didn’t care. However, I’ve become “attached” to some and I know they will have to leave Japan and go onto their next thing. I don’t look forward to that day but you gotta do what you gotta do right?
Still, a true friend, I’ve noticed, will always be a true friend no matter where you are and how long you haven’t seen each other. And the ones who don’t, well, they can kiss my shining, sentimental arse.
Edit – 2005/09/22
Here are some pictures from my visit with friends and family.
