Guest Update for the Guest Updater
September 13, 2003
I’m too lazy to write another guest update. But instead of leaving you folks hanging, I found some suitable writers to entertain you before Jerry gets back. So here you are, guest updates for the guest updater. I’m out to enjoy some sun.
Hello, readers of JVision. Hello… Jerry. You might recognize me. Then again, you might not. Because I sure don’t recognize this place. Everything has changed. For the worse, I might add. Jerry, your sense of decor has always been lacking. Blue? And what is this “spoken” nonsense? I sometimes wonder about you, Jerry.
Only sometimes. I don’t think much about you anymore, Jerry. Why should I? I bet you don’t even remember that I existed on JVision, way back in the version 1.x days. Back when I was mascot, we were buddies, and we ran rampant on the page. But then what happened? “One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more / And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.”
Cry me a river! I shed no tears for you. And this is my last hurrah. Since you never even gave me a chance to say my goodbyes on this page, and to my dear devotees. Shame on you Jerry! Shame on you! I’m out.
“So, Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave, oh”
Hello friends. You might remember me as Pokemon borne of Jerry’s feverish imagination. The name’s Wangmon. I don’t have as much of a grudge as the fellow above me, but I would like to express my disappointment at having been ditched as a recurring concept faster than the Pokemon craze could phase out. I felt I had plenty to offer, such as wang-related jokes, potty humour, and political insights. I’m sorry it never happened. Now I languish in my hole in the ground. That warm, moist hole where Wangmons reside. I’m perfectly happy, to be honest. But I thought I’d pull out for a minute or two to say hi and to impart a few words of wisdom:
Jerry, don’t adopt mascots again if you’re not going to keep us. We aren’t puppies. There is no SPCA for web mascots. We are thrown into the recycle bin of history. We aren’t even put down humanely. Our bits are erased, written over with the sweaty groins of Internet porn. Have a heart, Jerry. Don’t adopt any more mascots. They don’t deserve our fate.
