The Chronicles of Arthanus Silvertome
August 27, 2003
So ever since my mentor Gorion tragically passed away, I have been entrusted to protect his fake son Jimmy. Now, Jimmy is a nice lad but he sure is a handful. First of all, he struts around like he owns the place. If it were up to me, I would’ve spanked that boy more often and with more force. Still, I know on another plane somewhere, Gorion is wishing for me to make sure young Jimmy doesn’t get in trouble
A clown like Jimmy is hard to keep out of trouble. He doesn’t just ask for it, he begs for it.
So we were standing outside an Inn… I think it was the Burning Wizard. Bah, it’s not important where. What is important though is that as Kagain, Khalid and I were stepping through the door, a scoundrel started attacking us. Well, really, he wanted to kill Jimmy. Jimmy probably owed him a shiny nickel or two. Well, seeing how if we didn’t stand in the way, Jimmy would’ve been trampled and gutted like a fish, the three of us stood valiantly at the door, defending Jimmy and attacking this interloper. As fate would have it, my good brother-in-arms Khalid was brutally slayed by the fiend’s battle axe. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I couldn’t believe we didn’t defeat him… the six of us combined should’ve been able to defeat him very quickly. I turned around and then I knew the answer.
Jimmy and the two ladies were outside counting four leaf clovers and had just bothered to step in as Khalid was being slain. If they had followed us like we told them to, maybe brother Khalid would still be alive today. I can’t blame Jimmy though, he’s still a child and he needs a strong presence beside him. Someone who can show him the way of the sword, instead of the way of the harp. Show him muscle, not smooth silky hair. Show him heroism, not hedonism
Before you can say “Know a Gnoll who can gnaw through a gnome?” Jimmy was at it again. We were on our way to return some girdles we found when I told Jimmy. Be careful there Jim, one of them is cursed but the other one is a treasure. It’s a Girdle of Piercing and it just might save your life when someone is sticking some spears into your groin area. I blame myself for telling Jimmy that I didn’t know which one was which but apparently the old lady did. She took the girdle of piercing and left Jimmy with the cursed one. Jimmy, being Jimmy, thought he had bested the old woman. He thought he held in his hand the very girdle of piercing.
Sparing you the gruesome details, Jimmy now boasts a very nice rack and white skin even the fairest elf princess would envy.
I had to teach him Rule #1 - never put on anything that has not been identified.
Sigh, Gorion… what should I do???
