An Autobiography In The Making
July 15, 2003
In my June 20th update, I talked about my old updates that were stored on my computer. I wanted to post up the old updates but because I have 10 different designs each with different ways text was formatted, it would’ve taken forever to extract the text out of each and compile it nicely. Well, I started on it last night and after working about 3 hours in total, I’m still not finished.
So far, I’ve tried to set all my dates and headlines uniformly but in these four years, I’ve only used a uniform system for the past one year or so. Also, there are tonnes of pictures and links that have long been dead that I’m editing out (mostly just putting nice #’s instead). In my early days for some forgotten reason, I split my webpage into news and main writing areas. News was where I wrote insignificant things like, “Today the Quake 3 page was updated” and Main was where I wrote more personal rants and opinions. I’ve amalgamated the two now. There are also some dateless entries and the best I could do was figure out the month it was written in. A lot of colors had to be removed because they appeared too faint on white background now (I used to exclusively use black backgrounds). I’m leaving in all typos and grammatical errors for the sake of humour. There will be so many references to different webpages that used to exist on my site but have long been baleeted. Sadly, there are big gaps all over the place - I’ve only regularly archived stuff in the past few designs. The biggest gap is a five month hole. If you remember my design that consisted of a whole bunch of cool glowing orbs on the left and writing on the right, well, I didn’t archive any of that stuff at all so there’s a good half a year missing.
I might have everything done in another day or two and they’ll just be posted in the archives where they belong. It’ll be pure text.
I’m still a little ashamed at my writing in my early days of blogging. I was quite irrational and twitchy in my writing. I sincerely hope that my writing style now has matured a bit. I hope my long road growing up has seasoned and spiced me. A lot of unpleasant memories long repressed have been uncovered by going through these archives but sadly, I never wrote too deeply about what happened or how it affected me. Most of the writing basically scraped the surface of my feelings. I think now I’m more open and willing to talk about my true feelings. I remembered a lot of the people I knew and how they affected me for better or worse. Strangely enough, most of them are out of my life. The ones left are the ones I’ve known the longest - the ones I went to highschool with.
I think the most memorable and worst years of my life are those between the last year of highschool and second year of University. In these two bumpy years I grew up and morphed from a Rugrat into a Power Ranger. These years made me, in my humble little opinion, much wiser and more mature than many people in my age bracket. I’ve met many great people after the turbulent years but I haven’t shared much about those years. A part of me wants to write down all those things and send it to everyone I know but the other part of me knows I’ve long let those events rest and have moved on.
