Nostalgia
June 20, 2003
I got bored so I opened up a dusty folder in my computer called, “Old Homepages”. In this folder contains the relics I used to call Jerryvision. It essentially has every webpage design I’ve ever made and contains most of all my updates and shit I’ve made. It’s far from complete though and I fear the missing updates are probably lost to history forever. The earliest record I have dates back to June 8, 1999 but I know my very first update dates a little farther back than that. I remember the reason I made the page was when I was in that stupid EDP class in highschool with Andrew, we both thought it would be fun to make some webpages. We had finished making really ugly pages for this class and wanted to play with it more. So my very very first stuff would date back to around 1997 or 1998. Five years later, I’m still writing. Unforunately, I didn’t start archiving updates regularly until late in the game. I’ve lost a lot because of this.
I noticed big changes over these four years in my writing style. Prior to Nov 11, 1999, I was a depressed kid who was yearning for a girlfriend because the past girlfriends and relationships I had were either horrible or dull or mean or wanted something better than me. On that date though, things changed. For those who don’t know, my best friend at the time had a car accident that changed his life and the lives of all those around him. For the next little while after this date, I was just angry at everything. The next important change came when I got my job at the ELI. That place made me discover a lot about myself and I met a lot of good people at that place. I think that place really helped me get over not being best friends with some people and having my life completely change. The summer of 2000 may have been the best one in my life.
A little later that year, around August 2000, I met Eri. We saw each other and hung out a few times that month and then spontaneously, we became a couple in September. I remember the day we got together very well. And people have been right - I do talk about Eri a whole lot. I think after I met her, my writing changed a lot too. My friend’s accident stripped me of a security blanket and forced me to wake up from a long, happy dream. The period of not having this friend made me grow up. The first summer at the ELI made me realize there’s so much more out there for me. Eri became all that was so much more. The updates for the past 2 years, 9 months, and 10 days are all wonderful and I feel so damn proud of myself for going through so much stuff in my insignificant little life. (Incidentally, honey, Happy 2 Years, 9 Months, and 10 Days!)
Some other things I noticed while reminiscing: I said after every final that I would fail but four years of university later and I haven’t failed a single exam or course. I mention Dennis just as much as Eri - much more before I met her. Quake, Shoo, cigarettes, sports, and being bored are also very common things I read about. I was very boring.
That’s about it. If you haven’t done so, you should go read over your old writing and rediscover yourself. I used to be afraid of looking into the past because some of the most painful memories lie beneath. Now, I feel they aren’t as painful as before and have in all their mysterious ways, shaped me into the fine piece of meat I am today.
