The Instinct
June 17, 2003
It’s time. The brightness has subsided and the rumblings have ceased. Only now will it be safe to come from the sanctuaries. I scurry along keeping my body close to the ground. Always aware. Always aware for any signs of trouble. I can never be too safe. It’s all too simple. I just need to survive. I don’t know why the urge is so strong but it fills my body with spirit and energy. I just need to keep going a bit more for as long as I can hold out. I feel it. There. Over there. I feel it. I smell it. I see it. I sense it. I know it. I quickly find my way there and feast. Every bite cheats the end a little more. Every mouthful enlarges the drive and enlarges the instinct. It’s all there is.
Others have come out too. They see me and I see them but neither they nor I will be distracted. We all need this feast. We all feel this urge to go on. None of us know the end but we all know the means. After the feast, some will procreate and continue the cycles. I will fade back into the sanctuaries and await for the next chrono cycle to occur. It’s not as consistent as before now. I must always be on guard and always be aware of the brightness and the rumblings. One drop of negligence and I will cease. I must be careful. I continue the feast. I am almost replenished. I know not when I will be able to feast again. It’s always a gamble.
Suddenly the dark veil of safety is removed. The brightness returns as quickly as it left. The rumblings follow. The rumblings grow stronger and more in frequency. It can only mean one thing. I think twice about leaving this feast, knowing all too well that another chance may not come so easily. I turn and dart towards the dark sanctuaries. It’s the only way to continue this drive. No one that has faced the brightness and the rumblings has ever survived. Our only defense is the escape, the escape into the dark sanctuaries. The urge now is not about the feast but on immediate survival.
!!!
It is too late. My exodus into the darkness was for nought. I was not fast enough. I was not nimble and swift and agile enough. The brightness overwhelms me as the rumbling hits its peak in the ground surrounding me. The end came horrendously quick. The end was much quicker than me. It was faster. It was nimbler and more swifter and more agile. All that is left of me is but a mere shadow. I only hope the others can continue. Continue. The struggle. The brightness overwhelms but the darkness, it returns to me. It envelopes and protects. I can feel it. I can…
feel …
…
Dedicated to that unlucky cockroach.
