Mega Update
October 30, 2002
In the three weeks I have been in Japan, I wrote a makeshift diary in the hopes that when I got internet, I could put it on my webpage. Here it is folks. There’s only about 4 updates but it’s about 4 pages in length. It’s for you if you really love hearing me whine and crap like that. Enjoy. Remember, I’m still waiting for your emails.
The last update ended on October 19. Since then, I’ve done nothing but work and relax with Eri. There.
October 11 - 16:00
I am guilty of not updating this webpage as of late but I’m sure you’ll forgive me of this. Right now at this exact moment, I am sitting on some tatami mats in my “living room” in my apartment in Osaka in Japan. I am alone because Eri had to go to school. About two hours ago, I walked her to the train station near my house and kissed her goodbye. I had eight hours to kill before I would meet her at the train station again. I walked through the station and saw some sort of market place. Actually, this was the first time I was alone in Japan so decided to bring out the adventure-seeking qualities in me and plowed into the marketplace. The marketplace itself looked like a really long alley with a cover. To each side are ragtag stores with ragtag store keeps. I couldn’t help but notice that the average age of the store keeps must have been near 60. There were many food stands with real Japanese food. My palate was beginning to grow accustomed to the food here so my saliva glands began working. I continued on. There were not many clothing stores and the rare ones there mainly sold women’s fashion. I saw many stores that sold a variety of goods ranging from home appliances, kitchen goods, stationary, and traditional looking items such as pots, kimono, strange statues, and the like. I ended up buying 4 forks, 4 of those Chinese spoons that we use at home, and 2 soy sauce dishes. Total cost: 1,000 yen or for those unaware of the exchange rate, about 14 dollars. I think I’m going to return to this 100 yen store (the equivalent to the dollar stores we love so much). That wasn’t it. I took a long way home (on purpose!) and found a grocery store where I poured about $30 in 4 bananas, 2 oranges, 4 cans of coke, 2 Nagasaki Champon packs, and a ready to eat meal of tonkatsu and rice. Did I mention things cost more here than they do in Vancouver? As I walked back, I heard a bunch of men speaking in a somewhat hostile manner. I recognize the tones and phonetics in the few yakuza movies I’ve seen. From what I can gather, some construction workers weren’t happy at some guy in the apartment that they were working at. That’s all I could tell you without learning the language. So here I am in my apartment now, recapping my adventurous day. I feel somewhat bored without Eri and a little homesick. I really like my apartment though. It’s a little old but the place is bigger than I imagined and after a huge cleanup day yesterday, the place is looking alright. We need to buy a lot more things before it becomes a fully functional unit.
I miss you all dearly and wish I were home for a day.
PS. The following is a recap of my first two days here. Enjoy!
—
After a 10 hour flight that was delayed for an hour and a half due to “technical difficulties” (said the Captain), I was exhausted. I valiantly traded my seat with some Chinese gentleman because his two young daughters had seats together with me and I guess they didn’t want to be apart from daddy. I gave him my seat and took his. This sacrifice would end up costing me because I ended up sitting beside a fat lady who took up about 2 inches of my seat and a 90 year old man who wouldn’t stop talking to me. I had to answer in lies because if I told him the truth to his questions, they would lead to more questions. “How long will you stay in Japan?” he asks, “One month, I’m just going siteseeing”, I say. If I said I would stay for a year, he would follow up with what I’m doing, and would go on and on about some anecdote. He did speak and read Japanese very well which was surprising.
Anyway, some guy from the company picked me up and he was as cold as the Ross Shelf that broke off not long ago. He told the other suckers, I mean recruits which train to take and someone would meet them on the other side. I bet they ALL got lost. I got a break because I happened to live in the same building that he does. In fact, he’s living right under my place, wonder if he hears my key tapping. After a VERY long train ride and a very long walk to the building, I finally got into my apartment. There was a wood smell that was a little intrusive. I dropped my bags, de-virginized the toilet and ran to the nearest payphone to call Eri. She and her mom picked me up soon after and we spent the next few hours buying stuff for my apartment. I stayed at their house that night.
The next morning, we got up bright and early and went back to my place. Eri, being the angel she is, spent the whole day helping me clean out the place. The place looks so much better after the cleaning. It’s actually quite a comfortable flat. We then went out to do some more shopping and we came home exhausted after hauling several bags and walking several thousand kilometers.
The weather so far is nothing but outstanding. It was 25 degrees out yesterday while today is 27. I hope it stays this way until I get used to the whole shebang.
October 12 - 11:00
Good morning! While Eri is just finishing up a shower, here I am writing a morning update! Last night was possibly the best night of sleep I’ve had in over a week. I slept from 1:30 to 7:00, then 7:30 to 9:30. That’s the most continuous sleep at ‘normal’ sleeping hours I’ve had since about one week before leaving for Japan. I’m feeling really at home in this new apartment and already took a dozen pictures of the setup and whatnot. Some bad points of this place is that there’s really no sink for brushing teeth so we have to use the kitchen sink. There’s a shitty mirror hanging in front of it too. Also, there are quite a few cockroaches around too. I’ve seen 4 small cockroaches and 1 giant one so far (all dead now?). Today, Eri’s mom is taking us out to lunch and then we’ll do some more shopping for stuff we need. It’s so barebones here that it’s not funny. We were sharing one cup (my ELI Mug!!!) until I decided to put our chopsticks and cutlery inside it instead. Those bananas and oranges really hit the spot for me because after eating them yesterday, my body suddenly felt revitalized. The oranges tasted more like grapefruits so I’m wondering if they were some sort of orange/grapefruit hybrid. That’s it for now.
October 13 - 10:00
Phew. Yesterday we ended up going from 12:30 until 22:00. It was a very long and tiring day. We went to another house they owned that no one lived in and brought over a dish cabinet. The thing was fuggin heavy. I live on the third floor without elevators too. We bought a lot of stuff again and even doubled the size of our bed with some clever use of an extra blanket and some rearranging. We are going to buy a couch soon which means we’ll have extra snuggle space and also if sleeping area for a guest or two (hint hint). We still have much to buy but the place is slowly getting there. I never knew playing Sims for real is so much fun. We have these catalogs which I can only describe as their version of Ikea only you fill out a form and they deliver the furniture to you. It’s a lot cheaper than actual retail stores but I guess the catch is you don’t get to see it or feel it until it actually comes.
Today we have free time that will be used for grocery shopping, relaxing, and directional gathering (for me). I start work tomorrow (doh) so I’m going to enjoy this day good.
October 19 - 23:30
Forgive me dearly for I have not written in nearly a week. What a week it has been! I started work, survived training, and had my first real day of work today. It has been an ongoing struggle of ups and downs and will probably continue to be so for another week or two. The first day at work was mainly just an orientation. There were only two Asians in the room of probably about thirty. Quite frankly, it was kinda intimidating. The other asian dude looked like he was going to jump out of his suit if someone so as much said “boo” to him. I didn’t talk to him. I met a few of the people I would work with there and had a free lunch. They basically lectured to us about the thrills of working there and some things we should be aware of while in Japan. Informative but depressing. At that point, I had a pretty low opinion of my job. Then came three days of training. The first day was quite horrible as they made us teach an actual lesson to a Japanese member of staff. Although I worked in an English school for nearly three years, nothing prepared me for the panic and anxiety in that lesson. Luckily, her English level was quite high so it wasn’t too bad. The next day, they made us teach 2 real lessons with real students. They were horrible too. There are some steps that we should follow in a lesson and I ended up fucking some up. Oh well. The third day was alright. I had a really good lesson and two not so goods. We got feedback about the past three days of training and I was kinda disappointed at my results. I felt this job sucked ass. At last, I got a day off. Eri and I didn’t do anything except get lunch, clean up the place, and watch some tv (actually, I just played baldur’s gate? I don’t actually “watch the tv” anymore). Today was the first real day of work. On the schedule were 4 lessons and a tiny bit of training. I was pretty much on my own this day and for all its worth, it turned out pretty well. I think my lessons were quite fun and I don’t have that sinking feeling when I’m watching the seconds tick away to the lesson.
For those who don’t know, I work at Nova - the largest English school in Japan. I work at their multimedia centre which is essentially an online English course. Each student buys a camera/microphone deal that they plug into their tv and they just connect to our server at specified times and learn. It’s a little easier for me (compared to other newbies) because I’ve been using computers since 386’s were around and Eri and I teleconferenced practically daily. I just had to learn what button does what and it came as second nature to me. Phew. I only have to worry about time constraints and whether or not I look like a buffoon or professor.
I noticed I miss Vancouver quite much as of late. It’s the simple things like getting a coffee with good friends or making fun of my sister or making some joke with old mumsie. I miss the ELI a lot, a lot more than I expected. It goes to show how people can affect your life.
I have a phone now! Message me for the number and a thorough explanation on what codes and such to use. I ordered ADSL (12Mbps!!!) and it is scheduled to arrive in about 2 weeks. If you’re reading this, then I guess it came through. I’m probably sleeping while you’re online most of the time.
Tonight Eri went home to sleep because the next day she has some test and it’s just closer for her if she stayed at home. It will only be the second time I slept alone in my apartment. I gotta say, it’s getting quite comfortable here. It’s a lot of work cleaning and washing dishes and cooking and worrying about gianto-ass cockroaches, but it’s MY place and I’m glad I’m here (I still miss you guys though). So, I will go enjoy some fried rice (courtesy of Eri’s mom) and then play some Baldur’s Gate, and then hit the sack, err, hit the futon mattress. Cheers.
I Am Dialed In
This is incredibly fast. It’s supposed to be a 12Mbps connections but it’s probably not that fast. Still kicks the pants off the one at home though. Hehehe.
Hello
October 23, 2002
Still waiting for ADSL. Things work really slowly here. Maybe in a week or two… till then.
SURPRISE!!!
October 12, 2002
Hello all! I don’t really have time for a real update yet. I’m doing well and I’m in the process of hooking up adsl to my place. Come back in a week or so. I already wrote out two pages worth of updates to post later so soon you will indulge in my adventures. Till then, take care and send me email or money.
Bye Vancouver
October 08, 2002
That’s it folks. This will be my last update in Vancouver for awhile. I’m all packed and ready to go. Thanks to everyone for everything and I’ll miss you all. I will update as soon as I can when I’m in Japan. I’ll probably be staying at Eri’s house the first night so maybe I can update there. Otherwise, take care and email me.
Woohoo
October 07, 2002
Justin and Dennis have been reading my webpage and got me the full Simpsons season 2 episodes on dvd. Too bad they didn’t get me a car or 110VAC because I’ll be missing those too. But I think I’m going to enjoy this dvd set very much because Simpsons spells “at home” for me. Thank you so much fellas. There’s finally a new webcam of me and my new gift.
In other news, Palm has a new PDA out. It’s called the Zire and it’s the barebones version of everything but the design is pretty nice. Easy to use and veered towards technoblindies.
This is awesome
October 05, 2002
link.
Eep
Smoking pays. Too bad she won’t live long to spend it.
It was the second day in a row where I couldn’t sleep until 5am. The first night, I went to Starbucks with my cousin and had a venti coffee. I tried sleeping at 2 but got up and looked at the clock until 5. Same thing yesterday only it was with another person instead. I blame it on the venti coffees but maybe to some degree on the anxiety that’s been building up these few days. Bah.
World’s Funniest Jokes
October 04, 2002
First the link.
Now I know that in a month or so, the link will be dead so I’m going to cut and paste these jokes here too.
By Corey Ullman
LONDON (Reuters) - After a year of painstaking scientific research, the world’s funniest joke was revealed on Thursday.
In a project described as the largest-ever scientific study into humor, the British Association for the Advancement of Science ( news - web sites) asked Internet users around the world to submit their favorite jokes and rate the funniness of other people’s offerings.
More than 40,000 jokes from 70 countries and two million critiques later, this is it:
“Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: “Take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, “Ok, now what?”
Researchers found significant differences between nations in the types of jokes they found funny.
People from the UK, the Republic of Ireland, Australia and New Zealand preferred gags involving word play, such as:
PATIENT: “Doctor, I’ve got a strawberry stuck up my bum.”
DOCTOR: “I’ve got some cream for that.”
Americans and Canadians favored jokes where people were made to look stupid.
TEXAN: “Where are you from?”
HARVARD GRAD: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”
TEXAN: “OK — where are you from, jackass?”
Meanwhile, many Europeans liked gags that were surreal or made light of serious subjects such as illness, death and marriage:
A patient says, “Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: ‘Could you please pass the butter?’
“But instead I said: ‘You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.’”
Marriage-mocking also featured in the top American joke:
“A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
“He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: ‘Wow that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.’
“The man then replies: ‘Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.’”
Death earned big laughs in Scotland:
“I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.”
And animals figured prominently. Take the number one joke in England:
“Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, ‘I slept with your mother!’
“The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
“The first again yells, ‘I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!’
“The other says: ‘Go home dad, you’re drunk.’”
The survey revealed other fun facts:
– Of the countries rating the highest number of jokes, Germans, perhaps surprisingly, laughed the most. Canadians laughed least.
– If you want to tell a funny animal joke, make it a duck.
– The most frequently submitted joke, at 300 times, was: “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.”
Researchers said no one ever found it funny.
The findings can be read at www.laughlab.co.uk
Things I’m Going to Enjoy
October 03, 2002
being with Eri
cheap cigarettes
real Japanese food
100 yen stores
100 yen sushi places
my new digital camera (soon)
wireless 64kps connection (cheap)
temples and pictures thereof
laughing at the really small cars
laughing at the really small people
getting beat up by small people
learning japanese martial arts
learning japanese
the look on people’s faces when I speak fluent English
Things I’m Going To Miss
family foremost
close close friends
friends
work
Simpsons
ADSL
cheap greasy food
open space
coffee with friends
110VAC
my house
having a car
being able to speak to anyone on the street
books
mild weather
Dear Michelle
October 01, 2002
Two words - Cranberry Juice.
