Crud
December 15, 1999
Damn. I think I failed my econ final. If not fail, then maybe 51%. Damn. All that studying for nothing. I learned six chapters worth of stuff in two days. Not bad huh? Glad I didn’t go to class since October. Just wish I didn’t procrastinate until the last two days to study. Damn. Oh well.
The ends justify the means.
I like that saying. Second time I said it lately. Aargh. I’m running on low battery again: finals = -(sleep).
Supposedly, it snowed a bit this morning, early morning. We’re talking 8:30am morning. Thank god I sleep until 12:00 nowadays. But it is chillier than I remember for mid-December. I guess snowing here means that the mountains will have a lot of snow. That’s good cuz I’m really looking forward to that ski trip in a couple weeks with good friends.
Ahh. Only 2 more finals. One of which I’m dead (comp sci) and the other of which I just need to read 900 pages. Literally, 900 pages. Crazy crazy commerce. I’ve been having doubts on why the hell I’m in it anyway? $$$? Why didn’t I go for something fun like human kinetics? That would be so fun. Commerce isn’t all bad… at least there’s some eye candy. Now I must stress the some because it really isn’t very much. Some is better than none I guess. It just turns out that I’m stuck mostly in classes without any of that some. Sucks to be me. I’ve been saying that a lot too.
What else is new? The message board is still fucked up. The guestbook is funny. No new pics or links or writings or anything. I hate finals. Stupid finals, make me neglect webpage. I’m gonna work on a new webpage during the break, either a new homepage or dig that Beyond Reality webpage idea I had and work on it. That’s been collecting dust on my hard drive. Hmm… that metaphor didn’t make too much sense.
I’ve been getting this stupid feeling of loneliness. Sucks. I guess I can’t be happy being single ALL the time. But mostly I am. Just miss talking to someone I like I guess. Sucks. Well, maybe a new millenium will bring forth baskets of donuts for us all. Maybe not. Oh god please don’t let me be stuck at home.
Hey that reminds me. I’ve realized that I don’t have too many friends. Not by force, but by choice. I don’t like making conversations. I’m more of a listener than a talker. I can be when the need arises but in class, I usually say nothing and take notes or doodle. That’s probably the biggest thing holding me back from meeting people. Another thing may be that I feel more than half the people you meet will not end up as friends but only as people you say hi to in hallways or maybe go grab a bubble tea with once a year.
What does this lead to? Isolation. I’m a lost person. Advice: do’nt be like me. Open up to people. I’m gonna try to do that. If it turns out that I’m being too fake, then screw it, isolation for me. Otherwise, I may end up a bit happier.
I think I’m done babbling now. Time to exercise and then shower.
Peace. Health. Happiness.
