Goodbye Grandma
August 06, 2010
Just a couple hours ago, at around 3:00am this morning, my grandmother on my dad’s side passed away. She had been ill for a while now and had been receiving blood transfusions every few weeks for a long time. From I have heard, she got pneumonia a couple of days ago. She went to the hospital and was in a coma. I think she passed away peacefully.
I’m thinking about the HK trip that we took earlier in the year. It was only eight months ago when I was there with my mom, dad, and sis to see her. We were told she was in bad shape then and we wanted to meet her while we could. I am now very glad that we did.
I can’t say that I knew her very well. I’ve only met her a few times in my life and talked to her on the phone when my dad called home. Still, here I am sitting here at 5:24am typing this. My sister says she feels “weird”. “Weird” just doesn’t quite cut it for me right now. I would call it a sense of unknown loss. I know I’ve lost someone close but I’m just not exactly sure what I’ve lost since I didn’t know her so well.
What I do know is that every time I’ve met her, I got the sense that she unconditionally loved me. She was a big complainer (that’s probably where I got it from) but she seemed to be protective of me, as if I needed someone to look out for me. She was always asking me if I wanted anything and offered to buy me anything. That’s the opposite of what I’m about. I enjoy being individualistic and self-sufficient above all else but it was nice to have someone who would spoil me like that given the chance.
I really don’t know much about my grandmother’s past. I know her maiden name was “Wong”. She was a daughter of a fairly successful business dude who dealt in fish or something. I know she wasn’t quite from Canton because she spoke a very different (and hard to understand) dialect.
My mind is going blank now and I’ve gotten out some emotions from this. Goodbye grandma! I’ll catch you on the other side.
Just wondering
July 31, 2010
If I were to just put my fingers to the keys and start typing, would anything worthy of print come out? Or would the same random jibberish that I’m constantly filtering out of my head in hopes of something more meaningful to appear just pour out onto the screen?
It’s a strange question because only after finishing this meaningless typing will I know the answer. For example, I could write a string of non-sensical words like, “goulgooly”, “bizwuffal”, and my favorite of all, “blimlimlim”. Would these non-sensical words contribute to the overall piece or would they just act as a distraction to my brain farting?
Another possibility that has occurred often in the past is that I just dictate to you about what happened today in my life, something that no one outside of my immediate family would care. Today I went to kung fu, met a new student who is a true delight, and came home to rest up. Got an early start tomorrow so there will be no hard partying tonight, much like every other night. The new student – a 60 year old, petite Japanese man whose commute to the school is at least an hour. He’s such a great guy and I only wish I could meet more Japanese people like him.
Lastly, and this is already happening, is that I continue to narrate about how I’m trying to type. I’m typing about how I’m typing. This is some sort of compu-surrealism or meta-blogging. This is my least preferred outcome since these sentences have even less meaning than the previous.
By now, I’m running close to empty and I think I’m about to end this exercise in thoughtless typing. Thinking about how the ending will come about causes yet again more headaches since there are so many ending styles. I will pre-empt myself on creating a few more short lines on different endings and just end it right here.
Vitamins
July 29, 2010
The best fortune cookie that I’ve ever received said, “You might have a vitamin deficiency.”
Another Tuesday Morning
June 22, 2010
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Hello?
June 17, 2010
What does it mean when you get these sudden thoughts about people who have passed away? Are they random neurons firing that trigger spontaneous memories? Are they the deceased person sending a hello from beyond the veil? If so, is it possible to communicate back? Either way, there’s nothing to lose so…
Hi grandma! I miss you! Hope you’re doing all right over there!
